Haaaail the conquering herooooes

Blow the whistles, hit the tin cans... yes it's my 100th post!! Some would say that's a little over the top in just 8 months, but I like to think of it as dedication to the reporting of non-events. In fact, I should get some kind of persistance prize.

What better way to celebrate this post with a write up of 'Toast', the NZ/Aussie food and wine festival. We were never going to pay to attend as it was £35 merely to enter (ok, so you got £10 food voucher included), but wine was £4 a glass as was beer. So that leaves £25 to pay Roy and HG to make a few brief appearances on stage followed by a long and arduous set by Paul Kelly. No thanks.

So, when Leah and I were offered 6 free tickets we were all over them. Arriving in Regents Park around lunchtime we were in our prime, it was about 30 degrees, people everywhere and we were all cashed up. Being the Aussie battlers we are, we didn't bother with sunscreen (Pah! This English "sun" can't hurt me!! (Note: IT CAN)) and headed straight for the wine tents. As the Tasmanian Jansz began to take over our bloodstream we decided buying loads of beer (yes, Coopers was in attendance!!), Samboys and olives was a good idea. We then planted ourselves in front of the stage and kicked back for the arvo.

Plenty of amber gold later and we decided to cause havoc in the beer tent. "Hmm, I like the looks of that Coopers sign" says Rez. "Here, let me get that for you" says Leah. As I purchased some more beer Leah 'discreetly' (read: rips down with gusto) removes the sign as we leave the tent 'in an orderly fashion' (read:piss bolt out of there with beer spilling all over the place'). So, we made off back into the crowd, happy with our signs and plenty of fluids to keep the afternoon flowing.



V had a few dilemmas that afternoon and as such her and Jules could only make it as the bars were winding down.... "No! I won't have this!" I thought, and whisked them straight into the tents as the girl who had served us all afternoon treated us to a few sneaky champers after closing. Fantastic.

Afterwards we headed to the Walkabout (and when I say we, I mean me and Leah, being the only ones stupid enough to continue on in our sunburnt and drunk state) and, to be fair, I had consumed a few pints (and when I saw 'few' I mean 'my bodyweight in'). Pumping through the usual tracks... the Loveshack, Land Down Under, Faith etc, what should my ears behold but that tearjerking theme .... to Baywatch. I stood stunned for a brief moment before putting my Snakey down (a first) and running, slo-mo, around the bar with my other dickhead mates. (Whilst shouting down the phone at my poor little bro.. who, at that time of the morning could only be wondering "Has someone I know been transported back to the early 90's??")

Thankfully I had the good sense (at around 11:30) that the day should finally come to an end as I stumbled my way to the tube station and off home. The same couldn't be said for Andy (haha, dobbing you in for once!!) who was getting rather smashed on the other side of town... his shameful texts shall remain saved in my phone for blackmail down the line.

*******

What else can I add to this fantastical event... oh yes.. I have booked the following...

- Kylie's Homecoming Tour 2007 @ Wembley Jan 6th, Jan 8th.... and Jan 9th! (Matt in his pissed state has decided that he is flying over for one of these shows... lets see what the reality of harsh soberness brings to this idea!)
- Jimmy Barnes @ Carling Acadmey, Aug 7
- Flights/trains to Oktoberfest, Sept 15-19
- Trains to Reading, Aug 25-28
- Tickets to Port v Geelong in the AFL exhibition match, Oct 21
- Tickets to the Film Festival in Greenwich Park this weekend (Kill Bill/Ferris Bueller!)
- Panic! At The Disco, Brixton Academy, Oct 24

I'M SO FUCKING BIG KEV ABOUT ALL THIS RIGHT NOW!!! (I need half a white valium and a lie down).

*****

P.S. My horoscope today...

Here is your horoscope for Friday, July 21:

Some hectic astrological influences mean today shapes up to be a tad more hectic than you originally thought. No matter. Be flexible. Use a pencil instead of a pen, and buy an extra-big eraser -- just in case.

(In case I didn't point out, I spent the first 3 hours of today trying to book Kylie tickets... and give back those that I don't want anymore!)